Sunday, June 26, 2011

Don't know why ....I am FeeLing inside ...

Nervousness, inner happiness than the usual, no words to describe what you want to say, fear of making a mistake, trying to hide yourself etc,. These are normal behaviors
however, if they all occur in your life together for a specific some one, be informed things are not normal any more you are likely to be under the influence of ChoColate FeeLing for someone.

In the past couple of weeks comprising on several months, I have noticed a change in my personality. This change is strange, this is not apparent physically. In fact, may be no one can judge this change other than myself and the person who brought this change in me.
I don't know,should I be happy for this change & celebrate. Once in life this change happens for all of us.We cannot decide and comprehend what to do next.
The notion of Chocolate Feeling is another compulsory part of this change.
(Those unfamiliar with Chocolate feeling are directed to read ChOcOlAtE FeElInG !)

This change is more like a software virus, which affects your brain and if you do not take preventive measures it keeps on spreading on and on. The good part is all victims of this virus find pleasure in this pain. And at times when we know that it has started to happen , rather than taking a pause and think about it we let it go :).

A bad side of this change is..it forces you to hide your feelings from the person who brought this change. At least , this is what happens with me . If I plan to say something I cannot speak with confidence. Thats too bad ..being a real person, you try to find all reasons to speak something or nothing which makes sense or not with the person .... and hide what you really have to say in from your heart. It is not so easy to survive like this. Hard Hard too hard... :( ....

You feel a lot of nervous..you cannot express what you should say. You always eat a lot of words before they exit your vocal cords. Oh Gosh! ...I spend 24/7 with the same thinking feeling. If I am running , same thought...swimming the same thought..in the air the same thought. I keep on imaging Life would have been more beautiful at this moment if the person is here right now with me. But its all a wishful thinking ,..even at this moment of time..this description is just a wishful effort if they read it by any chance they should understand..what I fail to express I can write and describe.
The magical effect is , I can just wait for one smile from someone...or can take one glimpse of their personality and when I see that smile on face. I feel like having a Great day ..

Intuitively if you think about it, if we don't care about some one, I dont worry what impression I will make whatever I do or say to them. In other words, you are being yourself whatever you do or behave like, since you don't want or expect anything in return. But when you are in ChoColate FeeLing for some one,..... However, this happens only in front of/for a specific person.

What does this suggest, that the person has already changed you for their benefit, and they have conquered you , your heart and mind altogether.