Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Some experiences are for the first time

I know a guy who had an experience for the first time which made him complete this past Sunday evening. Right after a day later on Tuesday evening he was craving for something which can make him forget his memory.
Suddenly it occurred to him, that conventionally alcohol has been the cause of forgetting for a lot of artists, creatives, and the likes as portrayed in the media. Will he get redeemed merely trying the alcohol distraction in order to move on with life?

On a second thought, he realized. No this is not who he is. Not that he is against alcohol. But this attitude of acting like a snowflake and victim is not good for him. 

Expecting and Accepting

When life is going through rough times my mother sent me a message this morning.

" Expecting and Accepting are two sides of life where expecting ends in Tears, while accepting makes you cheer. Accept life the way it comes...

She did not write it herself probably forwarded it. But telepathy is so true. It works in a timely manner.  Messages comes from people closer to us at the right time and in the right place,even when we are not expecting them. I needed to hear this

A better destiny for you

Sometimes we force ourselves to make decisions, which apparently may upset near and dear ones in the short term but they bring in real happiness and joy in the long term.

I wonder forcing myself on to someone just because I am emotional may not do good to either party in the long run. Why do I say that..? Because I know myself, I know mine below average lifestyle versus dreaming of clouds and better living humans in real life.

No matter, how good I may feel in short-term. The long-term patience will bring all the cards I have played in my life in front of the two of us. At that time it will be too late to make any positive impact to promote any change in my own behavior.

That person is too good, honest and sincere to me that I don't deserve it. While I do not have the same gist and habit or behavior to reciprocate and offer in the same manner.

Being happy on my jackpot lottery will be easy to be glad about and thankful for. However, at the end of the day, does jackpot deserve me???  Knowing all about me and what I have done. Would I prefer any jackpot to be in my favor?

If I know my past behavior and deeds...The answer is simple...to be silent and let the better person find its better destiny rather than I be a barrier in their goals. 

Friday, October 27, 2017

Everyday!!!

Every day you try to hide your feelings and then at the same time you try to remind you of your feelings. Every day you try to let go of your feelings and every day at the same time you want to enjoy the pleasure and the pain you have in these feelings.
Every day you think things will change and every day you realize that they are getting more stronger. Every day you realize maybe you are turning into a person or getting used to living in this lifestyle with this feeling.
Every day you feel optimistic, everyday you feel pessimistic. Every day you try to look from a third person's eye and everyday you feel what you lost and everyday you feel what you're going to gain through all this feeling.
Every day you think that you have been free and every day you realize no it is the real Freedom which has caught the bug in you. Every day you realize how much invested you were, and everyday you realize how much of a person you have become?
Every day you realize tomorrow things will change and every day you do the same what you did yesterday. Every day you did not feel the same for them but now every day you do feel the same which is a strange truth in itself.
Every day you - yes I am talking to you not me....Yes, you know you read this and every day I read that.  How long are we going to continue this every day?

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Scene 1 + SCENE 1.5 + SCENE 2

He is thinking while staring at his computer screen, " She looks gorgeous while so graceful and bubbly at the same time"
Whereas I don't feel a good match for her. Should I let it go? Yes,  Let's forget it.

He forces his attention on other fluff stuff. 10 minutes past, still....But gets reminded another 10

minutes later. It's his one and only chance. Will thinking too much help? No. Taking action will.

"But we don't have anything in common?", He asks himself.

Then tells himself, I may be broke apparently but not poor mentally.

Then a light bulb moment appears, " What if we would have gone to the same school together? But that won't help because there is no curiosity. But what if we never met each other, but still went to the same school..."


Closing his eyes for 10 minutes. He gathers courage and writes something on the wall which is going to bring them a couple of times again in conversation.

Curtain closes until Scene 2 appears



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SCENE 1.5


Bragging about his fully funded scholarship, he confidently wrote, " Do you go to CUNY as well?"

Apparently, this was not the best line he could come up with, but it was honest.

Did he hear back anything or not. That should appear in the next scene in the meantime, this is his time to be curious and keep on gathering as much information as he can about the person who is making him lose his sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SCENE 2.0

He didn't expect, but he did receive a response back. What a surprise. The response was simple and to the point. But he was glad at least his effort didn't go in vain.

He thought to himself, when his initial question worked, so why not to keep on asking more questions. Of course, he was not going to say that he likes her eyes so much and visits her picture quite often + anxiously waits for her scraps back on the wall as well.
Long story short. The initial story kept on progressing day by day. Night after night. When you are busy in work schedule and don't know much you realize all of a sudden. OMG, we are talking consistently for over a week.
And then it was two weeks, then three weeks. Until finally one day.....


Sunday, October 22, 2017

Not a Conventional Story

There is a story on my mind. A real story. It has a happy start, a bumpy ride, there is a boy, there is a girl, there are negative situations.
The happy ending has not been declared yet. Because the story is still in the making. We all have our stories, our lives are full of stories. Some are myths, some are wishes and others are realities.
I want this story to be a good story. Not the one I hope in my optimism thinking that yes it will be a good happy ending story.
The question is can we really change the story of our lives. If so how? Can we really believe that telepathy is real, if so then why the optimism in stories is/or not real?

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Tu Thodi Dair Aur Tehar Ja!!!

The following lyrics are dedicated are to someone who spent 8+ years of their life dreaming with me,  and about us.

Things don't change and I accept to deserve the result of fate. However, I can console myself with wishful thinking. Only if they can hear.

Dil charkhe ki ik tu dori
Dil charkhe ki ik tu dori
Sufi iska rang haaye
Ismein jo tera khwaab piroya
Ismein jo tera khwaab piroya
Neendein bani patang
Dil bharta nahi
Aankhein rajjti nahi
Dil bharta nahi
Aankhen rajjti nahi
Chaahe kitna bhi dekhti jaaun
Waqt jaaye main rok na paaun

Tu thodi der aur thehar ja sohneya
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja zaalima
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja…

Haaye din tere bin ab jee na paaye
Din tere bin ab jee na paaye
Saans na leti raat
Ishq kare tere honthon se
Ishq kare mere honthon se
Bas ik teri baat
Teri doori na sahun
Door khud se rahun
Teri doori na sahun
Door khud se rahun
Tere pehlu mein hi reh jaaun
Tu hi samjhan jo main chaahun

Tu thodi der aur thehar ja sohneya
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja zaalima
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja…

Dil minnate kare
Na tu ja na pare
Dil minnate kare
Na tu ja na pare
Tere jaane se jee na paaun

Tu thodi der aur thehar ja sohneya
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja zaalima
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja..

Tu thodi der aur thehar ja zaalima
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja.. thehar ja
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja zaalima..
Tu thodi der aur thehar ja
Tu thodi der.. bas thodi der aur thehar ja


This is only wishful thinking. Thank you for 8 years for your dedication