JUNE 22, 2018
David: Yaar I need a favor from you, at work now will call you tomorrow evening if you're available.
Me: Gee Hukam. What favor sir?
David: Will tell you when we talk :)
Me: Sir don't ask something which I will not be able to do.
NEXT DAY: JUNE 23, 2018
David: hi
Me: Hola
David: Free hai?
Me: Sir Hukam? Hello
RING RING RING RING , INCOMING PHONE CALL. RING RING RING RING
Me: Hello, gee Boss how are you?
David: Haan Azar Sahab kia haal hain? Ap busy admi hain humien lift he nahi karwatay.
Me: Nahi Sir, app neechay dekhain tou hum nacheez log app ko nazar aeen gay na.
David: Acha yaar mein nay tujhe aik baat kehni thee.
Me : Yaar, I have a feeling about what you are going to tell me, so before you tell me I am already asking please no. I don't think so I will be the best person to do that. You should ask Asif or anyone else to do that.
David: Azar Sahab, dramay karnay ke zarurat nahi hai. You are my best friend, so I would request you that. I am telling you this 6 months in advance already. November 2nd is my wedding and I want you to be the best man.
Azar: Yaar do you know the theory of best man? You know the wing-man concept as well. I may not be the best person to take that job on November 2.
David: Mein nay jo kehna thaa mein nay keh diya, abb agay koi tamashay karnay ke zarurat nahi hai.
Me: Yaar shadi kahan Sweden mein hai ya phir Pakistan mein?
David : Lahore mein hai. You have 6 months, ticket waghara book kar laina pehlay he.
Me: Yaar you need to get some nice guy as best-man who is experienced as well. Someone like Shahbaz not me. Meri tou khud shadi nahi huee abhi tak, what do I know about best-man.
David: Haan tou kar lain na shaadi kis nay rooka hai tujhe.
Me: Yaar mera tou proposal he reject ho gaya, shadi kai khaak karni hai.
David: What do you mean proposal reject ho gaya.
Me: Yaar I don't know, I am learning about my own set of things and priorities in mind.
David: Par huva kia hai.
Me: Yaar tujhe pata tou hai when I was in NYC with you last year. I started feeling heavy and burdened. You asked me about it. I told you and then I thought the right thing to do is say sorry and move on. You know already I went for mere 45 mins and came back in 6 hours. My intention was to meet her say sorry and come back. I already had a gf at that time. However, it turned out to be an emotional meeting for me. After 40 minutes into conversation, it felt thing are getting emotional and I wanted to leave right there.
David: Haan tou why you did not leave.
Me: Yaar I wanted to and after dinner we walked towards the parking lot. My heart was heavy already. She overcame her emotions in tear and she was crying altogether. I didn't know what to do. My heart broke more seeing her cry. I did not want to leave and rest you know I came so late.
David: Emotional attachment can be very strong.
Me: Yaar one night after graduating when I was in hotel room, I realized that degree is done, but she is still not here. I don't know what goals I have in my mind. I learned that she has a bf now.
David: How did you propose her?
Me: Yaar I simply called her up and asked " Mujh say shadi kar loo ". Even though this approach looks very needy and desperate, but for a couple of weeks I have been so uncomfortable and kind of down before that so I had to say it.
David: Just like that?
Me: Haan tou or kaise. Once you need to do something just say it and ask. Simple, iss mein preparation kaise.
David: I don't believe you. I can imagine the way you would have made this statement and said it, that even she would not have understood it.
Me: Yaar the point is, I asked seriously and she insulted me over the phone first and then gave it a thought and then insulted again one night after calling me.
David: Did you ever gave her a hint about marriage?
Me: Yaar back in the days in 2010 or so. I told her that when my qualifying exam will be done we will get engaged. Mujhe kia pata thaa kay this degree will take 10 years and the job and all the life's ups and down will come out for me. She brought that discussion to me in 2013 but I did not feel myself ready as if I have accomplished anything to move to another step in life. So I did not appreciate the idea, even though she wanted me to meet her family.
David: Yaar, you put expectation is someone's mind first and then blame them, this is not right.
Me: Maybe you are right. I got so mad when she started to manipulate me by inviting my mother to US as if she will pair us up by some magic. I myself needed to feel ready to make that decision not anyone else. Instead it struck a bad nerve in me, I went totally opposite, and then the interesting thing is. She did not want to talk about it or explain why she did that. We had a huge argument and fight about it. She said she wanted to give me a surprise. I didn't like that surprise at all.
David: You kept moving around here and there after other girls. Not sure what you expect. Girls need a proper direction and time. Sorry to say as a neutral person I don't think so you did any of that.
Me: Yes, I did all that, to get all kinds of imaginations and kinkiness out of my system before marriage. Yaar the worst of all, she does not even have enough sense regarding where to put a boundary line between personal and professional live. You know she sent that email at my work place and all.
David: Yaar, what I see as a neutral person is that you did not give her a firm understanding which always made her feel insecure. Because of her insecurity she started reaching out to other people and doing things like this. If you would have said something more firm ...
Me: I don't know. We used to do a lot of impulsive things together. After engagement timeline did not work out. After that never said anything about marriage and all by words because that's a big big commitment. We both are used to doing things on spot and impulsively and Then for getting settled she wants a firm date. Anyways I am happy that she is happy now.
David: I will still say you did not put a firm timeline... nothing is lost as of now.
Me: David Sahib, she has a boy friend now. She is happy with him. In fact she even blocked me on Watsapp so that if she shares her pictures and bf pictures on Watsapp by mistake I should not be able to see it. She thinks I am as crazy like her. She thinks I will contact her boyfriend and start treating him like she did with people in my social circle. I hate that manipulative mentality. On top of that she starts texting me every now and then. Even though she blocked me on WatsApp. That's a 100% manipulator right there.
David: I think any girl will do this to get attention. What I know from limited information. You have made her so much insecure in the past that she does not want to take any chance.
Me: Yaar iss mein insecure or chance ke kia baat hai.... I did what I decided I had to do. Agay abb chance and more pursuance all that does not matter. When she has moved on already and happy exploring her other options. Let it be.
David: I don't think so, if she has lived in US for 10+ years, she would know already how guys are and they can be good boy friends and all nice all the time but who gets serious about marriage anyways. Nothing has wasted for now and if you really want you should still go and pursue her.
Me: Pursue her? Bhai sahib I have blocked her number as well. I don't want to coddle anyone who wants to block me half on one application and keep on getting attention from on another platform. If she is happy enjoying the new toy she has found ... good for her.
I mean think about it who in their sane mind would text " Come and meet my boyfriend? I mean this is total attention seeking behavior plus manipulation at the same time. What does I have to do after meeting him......come on.
David: Azar sahib, I am still saying that you have time and you should at least talk face to face to her. Texting does not give the real story. Make things clear and if nothing then just close this chapter never to open this.
Me: I think she is mature enough to understand and decide what she is looking and what is her goal in life. She even did an analysis and therapist appointment to discuss this as well. Even though I don't believe these American therapists because they themselves have 4 marriages , divorces and remarriages at the same time not everyone but an average thought. Maybe they all like to explore like me. But still if someone believes them and their opinion like she wants their opinion and if that convinces her its fine.
David: Khair yaar teri marzi hai. Marriage is a matter of sacrifice simply. Not everyday will be great and not every day will be worst. It's a constant struggle. Agay abb jo teri marzi hoo. I still think it was all your fault.
Me: I have thought through it. I am doing different things these days which will distract me enough and she will also get better with time and hate me well enough to have peaceful life. One I will move either to Pakistan or remain in North West and occupied with other things in life, I will continue to do great. Her life goals like any other girl of her age she will find as what she wants anyways. Everyone is in-charge of their happiness.
David: Jaise teri marzi sir.
Me: Bye
HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP V
David: Yaar I need a favor from you, at work now will call you tomorrow evening if you're available.
Me: Gee Hukam. What favor sir?
David: Will tell you when we talk :)
Me: Sir don't ask something which I will not be able to do.
NEXT DAY: JUNE 23, 2018
David: hi
Me: Hola
David: Free hai?
Me: Sir Hukam? Hello
RING RING RING RING , INCOMING PHONE CALL. RING RING RING RING
Me: Hello, gee Boss how are you?
David: Haan Azar Sahab kia haal hain? Ap busy admi hain humien lift he nahi karwatay.
Me: Nahi Sir, app neechay dekhain tou hum nacheez log app ko nazar aeen gay na.
David: Acha yaar mein nay tujhe aik baat kehni thee.
Me : Yaar, I have a feeling about what you are going to tell me, so before you tell me I am already asking please no. I don't think so I will be the best person to do that. You should ask Asif or anyone else to do that.
David: Azar Sahab, dramay karnay ke zarurat nahi hai. You are my best friend, so I would request you that. I am telling you this 6 months in advance already. November 2nd is my wedding and I want you to be the best man.
Azar: Yaar do you know the theory of best man? You know the wing-man concept as well. I may not be the best person to take that job on November 2.
David: Mein nay jo kehna thaa mein nay keh diya, abb agay koi tamashay karnay ke zarurat nahi hai.
Me: Yaar shadi kahan Sweden mein hai ya phir Pakistan mein?
David : Lahore mein hai. You have 6 months, ticket waghara book kar laina pehlay he.
Me: Yaar you need to get some nice guy as best-man who is experienced as well. Someone like Shahbaz not me. Meri tou khud shadi nahi huee abhi tak, what do I know about best-man.
David: Haan tou kar lain na shaadi kis nay rooka hai tujhe.
Me: Yaar mera tou proposal he reject ho gaya, shadi kai khaak karni hai.
David: What do you mean proposal reject ho gaya.
Me: Yaar I don't know, I am learning about my own set of things and priorities in mind.
David: Par huva kia hai.
Me: Yaar tujhe pata tou hai when I was in NYC with you last year. I started feeling heavy and burdened. You asked me about it. I told you and then I thought the right thing to do is say sorry and move on. You know already I went for mere 45 mins and came back in 6 hours. My intention was to meet her say sorry and come back. I already had a gf at that time. However, it turned out to be an emotional meeting for me. After 40 minutes into conversation, it felt thing are getting emotional and I wanted to leave right there.
David: Haan tou why you did not leave.
Me: Yaar I wanted to and after dinner we walked towards the parking lot. My heart was heavy already. She overcame her emotions in tear and she was crying altogether. I didn't know what to do. My heart broke more seeing her cry. I did not want to leave and rest you know I came so late.
David: Emotional attachment can be very strong.
Me: Yaar one night after graduating when I was in hotel room, I realized that degree is done, but she is still not here. I don't know what goals I have in my mind. I learned that she has a bf now.
David: How did you propose her?
Me: Yaar I simply called her up and asked " Mujh say shadi kar loo ". Even though this approach looks very needy and desperate, but for a couple of weeks I have been so uncomfortable and kind of down before that so I had to say it.
David: Just like that?
Me: Haan tou or kaise. Once you need to do something just say it and ask. Simple, iss mein preparation kaise.
David: I don't believe you. I can imagine the way you would have made this statement and said it, that even she would not have understood it.
Me: Yaar the point is, I asked seriously and she insulted me over the phone first and then gave it a thought and then insulted again one night after calling me.
David: Did you ever gave her a hint about marriage?
Me: Yaar back in the days in 2010 or so. I told her that when my qualifying exam will be done we will get engaged. Mujhe kia pata thaa kay this degree will take 10 years and the job and all the life's ups and down will come out for me. She brought that discussion to me in 2013 but I did not feel myself ready as if I have accomplished anything to move to another step in life. So I did not appreciate the idea, even though she wanted me to meet her family.
David: Yaar, you put expectation is someone's mind first and then blame them, this is not right.
Me: Maybe you are right. I got so mad when she started to manipulate me by inviting my mother to US as if she will pair us up by some magic. I myself needed to feel ready to make that decision not anyone else. Instead it struck a bad nerve in me, I went totally opposite, and then the interesting thing is. She did not want to talk about it or explain why she did that. We had a huge argument and fight about it. She said she wanted to give me a surprise. I didn't like that surprise at all.
David: You kept moving around here and there after other girls. Not sure what you expect. Girls need a proper direction and time. Sorry to say as a neutral person I don't think so you did any of that.
Me: Yes, I did all that, to get all kinds of imaginations and kinkiness out of my system before marriage. Yaar the worst of all, she does not even have enough sense regarding where to put a boundary line between personal and professional live. You know she sent that email at my work place and all.
David: Yaar, what I see as a neutral person is that you did not give her a firm understanding which always made her feel insecure. Because of her insecurity she started reaching out to other people and doing things like this. If you would have said something more firm ...
Me: I don't know. We used to do a lot of impulsive things together. After engagement timeline did not work out. After that never said anything about marriage and all by words because that's a big big commitment. We both are used to doing things on spot and impulsively and Then for getting settled she wants a firm date. Anyways I am happy that she is happy now.
David: I will still say you did not put a firm timeline... nothing is lost as of now.
Me: David Sahib, she has a boy friend now. She is happy with him. In fact she even blocked me on Watsapp so that if she shares her pictures and bf pictures on Watsapp by mistake I should not be able to see it. She thinks I am as crazy like her. She thinks I will contact her boyfriend and start treating him like she did with people in my social circle. I hate that manipulative mentality. On top of that she starts texting me every now and then. Even though she blocked me on WatsApp. That's a 100% manipulator right there.
David: I think any girl will do this to get attention. What I know from limited information. You have made her so much insecure in the past that she does not want to take any chance.
Me: Yaar iss mein insecure or chance ke kia baat hai.... I did what I decided I had to do. Agay abb chance and more pursuance all that does not matter. When she has moved on already and happy exploring her other options. Let it be.
David: I don't think so, if she has lived in US for 10+ years, she would know already how guys are and they can be good boy friends and all nice all the time but who gets serious about marriage anyways. Nothing has wasted for now and if you really want you should still go and pursue her.
Me: Pursue her? Bhai sahib I have blocked her number as well. I don't want to coddle anyone who wants to block me half on one application and keep on getting attention from on another platform. If she is happy enjoying the new toy she has found ... good for her.
I mean think about it who in their sane mind would text " Come and meet my boyfriend? I mean this is total attention seeking behavior plus manipulation at the same time. What does I have to do after meeting him......come on.
David: Azar sahib, I am still saying that you have time and you should at least talk face to face to her. Texting does not give the real story. Make things clear and if nothing then just close this chapter never to open this.
Me: I think she is mature enough to understand and decide what she is looking and what is her goal in life. She even did an analysis and therapist appointment to discuss this as well. Even though I don't believe these American therapists because they themselves have 4 marriages , divorces and remarriages at the same time not everyone but an average thought. Maybe they all like to explore like me. But still if someone believes them and their opinion like she wants their opinion and if that convinces her its fine.
David: Khair yaar teri marzi hai. Marriage is a matter of sacrifice simply. Not everyday will be great and not every day will be worst. It's a constant struggle. Agay abb jo teri marzi hoo. I still think it was all your fault.
Me: I have thought through it. I am doing different things these days which will distract me enough and she will also get better with time and hate me well enough to have peaceful life. One I will move either to Pakistan or remain in North West and occupied with other things in life, I will continue to do great. Her life goals like any other girl of her age she will find as what she wants anyways. Everyone is in-charge of their happiness.
David: Jaise teri marzi sir.
Me: Bye
HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP V
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